I’ve written several blogs on “not knowing.” Not knowing is a wonderful way to admit that you don’t have to be in control all the time. Except now that I am trying to organize a move, I hate not knowing. I looooooove control! So I made a list. Controlling people makes lists.
*I don’t know how long it will take to sell the house, how much it will sell for, or how long it will take between contract and sale.
*I have no idea how or when to buy a house there, and make the closings work out. This would be easier if we had a truckload of money and could buy before we sell. But that’s not how it works.
*I don’t know where we will live in the Phoenix area.
*I don’t know how to get the cats from here to there once the house sells.
*I have not the slightest clue on what to take as a bare minimum to stay in someone else’s house. I need to start a business there.
*I don’t know how to make a list of what my husband has to do while I am gone and the house has to look perfect so someone will want to buy it. That list is long, and it’s going to look like I’m nagging, no matter how I write it.
*We’ve shared a car for seven years. I don’t think I can live in Phoenix with just a motorcycle. I’ve thought that problem to death. Cars, even used ones, aren’t cheap.
*I don’t know how to get the plants across the country. My corn plant was a gift from my son 30 years ago. Do I have to ditch it?
*I’m shedding so many things, will I regret that?
*How do I handle bill paying while I’m there and he’s here?
So I made a list of everything I was worried about, things I couldn’t solve, couldn’t figure out, and whose logistics make my head wobble and fall on the floor.
Once the list was made, the whole thing wasn’t so horrible. It turns out I don’t have to keep every worry fresh in my mind. Writing it down helped me quit carrying around a bag of worry. If I have time to worry, I can take a look at the list.
Some things will solve themselves. Others will become clearer when they come closer. Some things, no matter how much I want to, I simply can’t control. So I can give up worry.
Having a “I don’t know” list is actually a good idea. I had no idea it would work as well as it has. I’m still struggling with control, but the worry has slipped to a quieter nag instead of a full-pitch head scream.
The list may get longer, but it will help me cope.
–Quinn McDonald is a writer who is moving across the country. She is not in control. But she is using chocolate to cope. (c) 2007. All rights reserved.