Move, Chapter 4: Not Knowing

I’ve written several blogs on “not knowing.” Not knowing is a wonderful way to admit that you don’t have to be in control all the time. Except now that I am trying to organize a move, I hate not knowing. I looooooove control! So I made a list. Controlling people makes lists.
cliff
*I don’t know how long it will take to sell the house, how much it will sell for, or how long it will take between contract and sale.
*I have no idea how or when to buy a house there, and make the closings work out. This would be easier if we had a truckload of money and could buy before we sell. But that’s not how it works.
*I don’t know where we will live in the Phoenix area.
*I don’t know how to get the cats from here to there once the house sells.
*I have not the slightest clue on what to take as a bare minimum to stay in someone else’s house. I need to start a business there.
*I don’t know how to make a list of what my husband has to do while I am gone and the house has to look perfect so someone will want to buy it. That list is long, and it’s going to look like I’m nagging, no matter how I write it.
*We’ve shared a car for seven years. I don’t think I can live in Phoenix with just a motorcycle. I’ve thought that problem to death. Cars, even used ones, aren’t cheap.
*I don’t know how to get the plants across the country. My corn plant was a gift from my son 30 years ago. Do I have to ditch it?
*I’m shedding so many things, will I regret that?
*How do I handle bill paying while I’m there and he’s here?

So I made a list of everything I was worried about, things I couldn’t solve, couldn’t figure out, and whose logistics make my head wobble and fall on the floor.

Once the list was made, the whole thing wasn’t so horrible. It turns out I don’t have to keep every worry fresh in my mind. Writing it down helped me quit carrying around a bag of worry. If I have time to worry, I can take a look at the list.

Some things will solve themselves. Others will become clearer when they come closer. Some things, no matter how much I want to, I simply can’t control. So I can give up worry.

Having a “I don’t know” list is actually a good idea. I had no idea it would work as well as it has. I’m still struggling with control, but the worry has slipped to a quieter nag instead of a full-pitch head scream.

The list may get longer, but it will help me cope.

–Image:

–Quinn McDonald is a writer who is moving across the country. She is not in control. But she is using chocolate to cope. (c) 2007. All rights reserved.

About these ads

5 responses to “Move, Chapter 4: Not Knowing

  1. Pingback: Creative To-Do Lists « QuinnCreative

  2. celebrityplaydate

    Love the list for letting go of worries! I could use this for lots of situations. The thing about moving is that it’s the hardest thing. So there. What can you do?

  3. Find a real estate agent you trust and explain the situation. We moved from California to New Hampshire and hadn’t sold our California house by the time we left. With a good agent and fax machines, we didn’t even have to fly back once.

  4. Hey,
    I recommend using moveme.com to help plan your move. It helps you get the control back a little ;)

    —-This only works if you live in the UK.
    It doesn’t recognize American Zip codes or addresses.
    Sigh. Back to the worry list.

  5. I recommend packing the chocolate and tossing the clothes. And I’m starting an “I don’t know list” first thing in the morning.

Join the conversation

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s