The first time someone suggested I keep a gratitude journal, I suggested they set their hair on fire. I was a little cranky at the time. I didn’t want to be grateful, I wanted to seethe and be angry. Once I got finished with anger, I wasn’t sure why I should be grateful. And that’s the point.
Being grateful and writing it down helps slow down all that galloping emotion. In the mood I was in, my approach was a “revenge of the gratitude journal.” I wanted to prove that idiot who suggested the gratitude journal that they were wrong. Hah! So I wrote down, “I have nothing to be grateful for.” So there. I looked at it for awhile and felt a little dumb. Except for the thing I was angry about, which had taken over my life, I had a roof over my head, clean clothes to wear, a caring spouse, enough food to eat. I knew that other people didn’t have all of that. But hey, I was still angry.
So I wrote down, “My cup of coffee was not total crap this morning.” That seemed about right. The next day, I wrote down, “My annoying cube neighbor has the flu.” Then I added, “Traffic was OK. I got to the client on time.” I found that having a few small things to be grateful for seemed to reduce my anger. Only because all that anger was exhausting me.
Over time, I began to notice the quality of items I was grateful for changed, almost as if I could predict a bad mood, a new project coming my way, and when I was in problem-solving mode. I began to dare to notice that I was good at some things and write them in the gratitude journal. I could see the big picture and the details to get there. I was a good problem solver. Being grateful for what you are good at and noticing it makes you better at it.
A gratitude journal sharpens your skills. The first time I suggested it to one of my coaching clients, he tactfully suggested I set my hair on fire. (Well, no, he was quite polite. But I could feel the shock wave over the phone. This was no girly-man.) But he kept up the gratitude journal. I promise my clients anonimity, so I can’t quote his entries, but they started simple and got quite complex. It was working for him, too.
Here’s what he wrote to me this morning:
“You can tell your tough-guy clients that when I got laid off, the journal had mentally prepared me to view it as a blessing and an opportunity rather than a death sentence.
It allowed me to think clearly and focus on what I really wanted to do. Kind of like boot camp mentally prepares a “green” soldier for his first combat mission.”
Thanks so much for letting me know. You and I discovered the same thing about gratitude–it’s not a new age emotion, it’s a business tool. Particularly if you own your own business.
Note: Tips for keeping a gratitude journal.
—Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach and a life coach who specializes in guiding people through transitions. She holds workshops on writing, corporate culture, and giving presentations. See her work at QuinnCreative.com
Her other website, Raw-Art-Journals, is about her art life. Follow Quinn on Twitter.
Yes! Thank you for this post! This is the kind of message I am trying to send to people! You start off forcing yourself to be grateful. Then somewhere along everything turns into a blessing! I am on a grateful journey myself, challenging myself to post something I am grateful for everyday on twitter. I am hoping it will inspire others to slow down and notice all the things they have to be grateful for as well!
It’s a process. In my case, it was a slow process.
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Quinn, a great entry about gratitude or lack thereof. We can all be there–irritated and irate by having to feel grateful. There should be some kind of word for that: igrateful?
—-Thanks, Ruth. Because I don’t allow people to sell their own products and services here unless they’ve asked to do so, I’ve deleted the sales portion of your reply. -Q
A gratitude journal is a wonderful idea, and it’s beautiful to watch the gratitude grow, like a well-nurtured plant, even if it starts off puny.
I was deathly sick 7 years ago, a throat cancer that nearly killed me. Recovering from that involved a lot of gratitude, not the least of which was that there was actually an exotic medication to defeat this thing. A slow recovery allowed me to appreciate each ability I got back, beginning with continence and going through the ability to walk.
It’s amazing how much we take for granted until we lose it. Now, I have a phase almost every day where I am grateful just for the ability to walk, for the strength to open a bottle cap, for being able to dress myself.
Objectively, my life is just as pleasant/unpleasant as it always was. I have merely learned not to take the pleasant for granted and allow the unpleasant, which tends to have a much stronger taste, to be the dominant flavor.
—The gratitude journal really does help. It makes you more aware and awake to what is going right in your life. I just read a study that said that people who keep gratitude journals are happier and more satisfied with their lives. -Q
I do something similar to this whenever I ride the bus. I do an “Appreciative Living” moment entry in my journal, as suggested by Jackie Kelm. I just write down three things I’m grateful for, and one thing I could do today that would bring me joy.
Most of the time, my gratitude entries are pretty mundane: “I got a seat on the bus.” “Had fun watching TV with my partner last night.” But they remind me to start the day looking at the cup as half-full, rather than aggravating the feeling that I often wake up with (that I’m already behind!).
Writing down the “what would bring me joy” was much harder for me. I started by writing chores then realized where that was going. Now, it’s mostly spending time with my partner, or finding ways to make myself laugh or feel more peaceful.
–Liz
“My annoying cube neighbor has the flu.” HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I miss you SOOOO much!!! Hugs, Christine
===> They were tough times. And I remember how clearly I wanted to hold onto that anger and make someone else wrong. So they could understand that anger. Without that gratitude journal I would still be seething. Luckily, I let it all go. Hiking helps. So does being happy. –Q