Roadside Shrines
The road was straight and level. No dips, not high enough to freeze. But there it was. About 50 feet off to the East side of the road–a white cross with plastic flowers wired to it. It wasn’t the first I had seen, in fact, Arizona seems to have more of them than any other state I’ve lived in.
Certainly, it could be because putting a cross on the side of the road to remember a loved one who has died there is a custom more popular in this Southwest than in New England or the deep South.
What mystifies me is how these accidents happened. The ones I’ve seen are on straight stretches of well-paved highway. There are three on the section of McKelliips Road that cuts across the Rio Salado to join the 101 going North to Scottsdale, about a mile from the Casino.
Maybe there was liquor involved. Maybe carelessness. We don’t know and don’t get to judge. All we know is that someone died. The shrines vary greatly. Some simply have faded plastic flowers wired to them. Others have mementos piled high–Disney figurines stand watch next to Virgin Marys and teddy bears. Many have some sort of liquor bottle–an easy-to-leave reminder of what the deceased liked.
Roadside shrines are outlawed in some states–considered a danger, a nuisance, a distraction. I’ve seen the markers encouraged by the state–blue squares that look like parking signs, with small writing. You drive past, not looking, not thinking. Those signs that are easy to ignore don’t make us uncomfortable. The roadside crosses do. They stand in mute reminder that we can die at any time, at any place, even in a straight stretch of road on a sunny day.
I like the mystery of it, the unanswered questions, the symbols of love. It creates a small well of
wonder, into which we dip our cup of curiosity and come away tasting only uncertainty. We need those shrines to remind us of the frailty of life. I bet those crosses make more people drive carefully for a few minutes than a discreet road marker. The road marker says. . .something. The cross says, “I died unexpectedly, you can too.” It’s a powerful message.
–Images: (c) photographs by Quinn McDonald.
–Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach, writer and artist who is interested in life’s transitions. See her work at QuinnCreative.com
We have these shrines in Australia, too, Quinn. It’s quite common now to see flowers and messages where someone died, no matter what the cause. That person was still loved and cherished. I think it taps something deep within us – although attitudes to death now are neat and tidy and filed under `get over it’, we still need to mark and remember and perform some sort of personal ritual. Underneath the surface of modern life, we are still touched by eternity and the power of death, that can take someone from us so suddenly, still in awe and needing to create a relationship with it as other societies do.
—You are so right. For all our technology and brains, it is the human heart that needs care and to express grief in visual and tangible ways. I think they serve as a reminder to others as well. -Q
gailkav
June 8, 2008
I’ve seen many of these shrines in the area in which I live. Some I know the stories behind (too many are motorcycle-related), others I can only wonder. One, I must have driven by during the anniversary because the area around the shrine was filled with balloons and flowers. Some people complain that they’re distractions, but I think they serve some healing purpose for the family and maybe keep the rest of us on our toes.
—-I think it does a lot to make passers-by think about what happened. -Q
jodhiay
June 13, 2008
I see a lot of them around here, too and, unfortunately, it does manage to do two things that are not intentional: it angers the ones whose job it is to mow those rights of way (they have to stop the vehicle, get off, move the shrine stuffs, mow, stop again, move the shrine stuffs back) and those who have to pick up the litter that some of the shrine goodies turn into as they blow around. In addition, rarely can I read a name.
I see them and wonder when it was that people began to decorate the place someone died instead of the grave where their remains are: does this mean shrines will pop up in hospital rooms or in a public hallway when someone drops dead there? It strikes a very pagan tone to me, which I don’t think is what it is meant to do.
I much prefer what I saw in Colorado when my husband and I were traveling there this month: a sign on the roadside which read one of two messages, ‘please don’t drink and drive’ or ‘please drive safely’ with an equally sized sign below which read, ‘in memory of —.’ Very tasteful, very apt, and still marking an important or dangerous part of the road. More eloquently, I could actually read the name of the poor victim, which I think is part of the purpose of those roadside shrines. And no roadside stuff to annoy the road workers.
—> Luckily, our roads are sand and tumbleweeds. I’ve taken a liking to them in that “life is messy” kind of way. . . -Q
Jan Bryant
July 4, 2008