Daily Archives: August 17, 2009

Baby Blues, Adult Style

Yesterday, I wrote about the frustration of new moms–babies take up a lot of time and will alter your identity. It’s hard being a mom no matter what your age–or your child’s age, for that matter.

Today, a bit of a wake-up call for those new moms: Pssst, it doesn’t get easier. And drinking doesn’t help.

If you are like most women, statistics say you will live longer than your male companion. And it is quite likely you will have to care for him in some way. I know that many men take care of their female companions, and either way, age doesn’t make it any better.

For all you frustrated moms who can’t wait till the kids leave the house, here is what you have to look forward to:

Image: auto.howstuffworks.com

Image: auto.howstuffworks.com

–Now you can strap them in a car seat and pack a stroller. Struggling with a wheelchair is a lot more

Image: imageenvision.com

Image: imageenvision.com

complicated.

–Now your baby is quiet, or plays in the car seat. Later, you’ll get driving directions and criticism from the person who doesn’t like the way you drive.

–Now there are stores that have “Baby on Board” lots close to the store. When you are both frail but your doctor won’t write you a permission slip for a handicapped pass and you have to push the wheelchair from the other end of the lot, you will think dark thoughts.

–Now carrying a baby brings smiles from other moms or those anticipating motherhood, and a few grandparents, too. Walking with an infirm older spouse creates looks of fear and revulsion. Lots of people look away. No one wants to think about getting old or sick.

–Now, people will nod knowingly and understand when you say your child is pressing on your last nerve. When you get older, people will reprimand you for not having endless patience. “In sickness and in health,” they’ll say knowingly, in case you forgot.

–Now people will sympathize with your energy drain and encourage you to take a night off from baby stress. When you are older, people don’t think you need a night off. “Marriage is about being together,” they’ll advise you.

—Now when your baby kicks off shoes, doesn’t want to wear what’s clean, or makes demands, you secretly know that you are still stronger. When you are older, you better be craftier.

—Now, postpartum depression is taken seriously and you can get help. When you are run down and depressed taking care of an ailing spouse, you’ll be told not to be cranky ol’ fart.

So all you young exhausted mothers, cheer up. Your kids will grow up. But you and your spouse will grow old. If you are lucky, with each other. Don’t wait for retirement to enjoy life. Do it now.

–Quinn McDonald is a writer, life- and creativity coach. You can see her business site at QuinnCreative.com and visit her art journaling site at Raw-Art-Journals.com (c) QuinnCreative 2009 All rights reserved.