Mother’s Day Gift for Artist Mom

If your mom is an artist, or likes doodling, this gift will be just right for Mother’s Day. Buy (or make) a flower pot with an inspiring phrase on it. This one says “thrive,” which is great for both the plants and mom.

You’ll need:
Terra-cotta flower pot, about 4-inch diameter, with base
A 1-lb bag of rice or beans, in any color
A small piece of plastic wrap
Masking tape
Colored paper. I used Mei-teintes for color-fastness
5 Prismacolor pencils, unsharpened
5 pink pencil-top erasers
Scissors

Line the pot with plastic wrap to keep the beans in the pot and not sliding out the drainage hole. Fill the pot with (uncooked) beans or rice. Beans are less messy. Pinto beans (as shown) give a nice variegated look.

Buy several colored pencils, watercolor pencils, pastel pencils–whatever Mom uses most. The picture shows Prismacolor pencils in various shades of green to make the stems more believable. Buy the pink pencil-top erasers you used in grade-school, too.

Put the erasers on the end of the pencil that doesn’t have the SKU barcode printed on it. Sink the end with the barcode into the pot, hiding it.

Cut pointy ovals from colored paper. I cut them freehand, they don’t need to be perfect. In fact, slightly different sizes and shapes give them a realistic look. If you are ambitious, cut out green ovals that are smaller and skinnier than the petal ovals.

Cut a strip of masking tape (about 3 inches) in half lengthwise. (It comes in different widths, but can easily be cut to fit) about the width of the eraser edge. Holding a leaf against the eraser, press the tape over it. Alternate colors, or, if you are using green for the sepals, alternate those. Keep the tape tight, but don’t overwork this. It takes a bit of patience, but it’s not hard.

Continue around the eraser till you have attached four or six petals. You can use any number, but simpler is better.

Repeat with all the other pencils and tuck pretty tissue around the pot, tuck in a box or bag.

–Image and tutorial by Quinn McDonald. Quinn is a certified creativity coach and artist. See her work at QuinnCreative.com (c) 2008 All rights reserved.

The Dream and the Dreamer

For years I’ve been interested in dreams. I’ve had recurring dreams, meaningful dreams that I still remember vividly, and dreams that have come true much as I dreamed them. I once dreamed a portion of someone else’s lif and had them verify it.

What’s bothered me about dreams is that they seem personal and meaningful, but dream interpretation seems to be a impersonal, reduced to symbol searches. Many books list the items in dreams and assign them a meaning. You dream of flying, it’s a sign someone is going to die. In another book, flying is sex. (In that book, everything is sex. It doesn’t need to be 300 pages long, one would have been plenty.) [Editor's note: WordPress automatically assigns links to posts based on keywords. Please be careful before clicking on the automatically generated links below this post.]

Another school of thought says that you are everyone in your dream. I’m not sure that works for me, either. Many of the people in my dream are known to me and many unknown that represent an idea or warning for me, but they aren’t me.

I think dreams are far more meaningful, and I don’t believe they are random images your brain fans out because you’ve eaten pepperoni pizza late at night. I believe dreams are a connection to the collective unconscious–the past of your cultural ancestors. I think dreams are a map of our lives, a colorful tapestry of adventures, a guide to the path we have chosen, an illuminated manuscript of both our imagination and our possibilities.

Currently, I’m enrolled in a seminar on dreaming, run by Robert Moss, the originator of active dreaming. Moss believes we can re-enter dreams, either in meditation or in subsequent dreams.

I’m keeping track of all this dreaming for both my dream journaling course and for some workshops on how to wake up to dreams, making them a useful part of your daydreams and waking life.

May 9 update: I had a dream in which I saw a woman who was a potential client in a crowd. She was very blond, almost glowing. The rest of the crowd was very dun-colored, as if a gray wash had been put over the whole scene. She began to bekon to me, but I couldn’t get to her, the crowd was too thick and not moving. [end of dream]  I woke up and had this strong urge to email this person. So I did. Two days later she called me and said she had had a job come in, and hadn’t thought of me until she saw my email. I accepted the freelance job. I’m calling this a Quinncidence.

–Image: Dreamer, color pencil, aquarelle pencils on 100-lb. Bristol Board, Quinn McDonald (c) 2008 All rights reserved. This post is also under copyright by Quinn McDonald, who is a workshop developer and leader as well as a certified creativity coach. See her website at QuinnCreative.com

Sounds like. . .words that spell trouble

There it was again. In a reputable magazine for artists. “The collage peaked my interest.” Luckily, it didn’t, or you would never have a peak experience again. The collage piqued your interest. Totally different word. It’s from the French and it means to give it a little stab of interest. Peek is to look, peak is a top of a mountain, and pique (pronounced peek, that’s why it’s a problem) means to be interested in.

Last week, in the newspaper, I read that woman had performed while she was ill. “She was a real trooper.” Only if she was a policeman. In this case, she was a trouper. Because she was in a troupe of actors, dancers, or other performers. And the show must go on.

In today’s newspaper, I saw a grocery store that had a “souper sale.” I thought it was a joke, maybe tomato or chicken noodle soup was on sale. Nope, just a typo. A super big one.

Some other words that give us trouble:

It’s is never the possessive. When its tail comes to rest, the dragon will be sleeping. No apostrophe. That’s hard, but the only meaning of it’s (with an apostrophe) is it is.

Disinterested means fair or impartial. It has nothing to do with not being interested.

Peruse means to read carefully, not to skim.

Lie is to recline, lay is to place. I lie down on the bed, I lay the baby back in bed.

That’s enough for one day.

–Quinn McDonald is a writer and certified creativity coach. See her work at QuinnCreative.com (c) 2008 All rights reserved. Image: altaread-austin.org

Math Magic in Nature

The things we learn in school are often written off as esoteric–things we never use or need in real life. Except all around us are amazing geometries that are not only meaningful, but give life structure.

Phi is a number–.1.6180339. Like Pi, it continues forever. There is a way it was derived, but there is something even more interesting about Phi. The number can be scaled into a grid. And the grid gains meaning in nature–it can be found in the way rose petals shape the bud, the pattern of sunflower seeds in the center of the flower, and the way branches are spaced along the trunk of a tree.

Even if you’ve never heard of Phi, you are walking around with it. The length of your hands and lower arms follow Phi, and so do your facial features. Leonardo Da Vinci figured out much of the applications.

Here’s a quick way to check: your foot is the length of your lower arm. If you are flexible enough, place your heel on the inside of your elbow. It will reach to your wrist.

Shells that spiral follow the path of Phi. The eye, fin and tail of a dolphin align with the ratio. A line drawn between the pupils and down to the corners of the mouth follow the Phi proportion. We consider a person attractive if the lines form a square. Your two front teeth form a rectangle in the Phi proportions in height and width.

You can see more examples and you can download a grid and use it to check it for yourself. And I promise not to tell anyone you are using geometry and loving it.

Image: flower of life, derived from Phi and the Fibonacci sequence

–Quinn McDonald suffers from some forms of math fear, but loves geometry. She is a writer and creativity coach. See her work at Quinncreative.com

Tutorial: Altered Photograph

An artist sees nature in a new perspective every day. In a different slant of light, with different shadows, with different meaning.

On my early morning walks, I noticed that the tiny water-saving sprinklers are hard at work before the sun evaporates the water. When a breeze kicks up, the spray hits the sidewalk. The water here is hard, so the place where it hits the sidewalk deepens to blue-gray. The edge of the stain is often a red or pink color, depending on the material the sidewalk is made of.

The patterns are quite ordinary, except when they are in the process of drying. At that point amazing things happen to them. They dry from the outside in, leaving Rorschach-like patterns. I photographed one of the drying puddles with my iPhone camera, which produces remarkably good close-ups. I printed it out and took a closer look. I printed the picture on non-photographic paper, 100 percent consumer-waste recycled, slightly heavier than normal. I chose this paper because I wanted to use Prismacolor light-fast pencils as the art medium, and they work best on an uncoated stock.

I saw a tree, clearly at the top. I was surprised to see the Lady-of-Guadalupe-like pattern around the figure, giving it a spiritual feel. Using Prismacolor pencils, I began to pick out the design. First I darkened the edges using French Gray 70 percent, then overlapping strokes of Indigo Blue and Dark Grape.

Next, I used French Gray 30 percent and 10 percent, along with Sky Blue to give more contrast between the light lines and dark lines. I started with a light touch and used a bit more pressure once the picked-out lines made sense and created a pattern.

There were several possible figures that could have emerged from the center, under the tree. To begin, I called up the face I saw, using Cream and Light Peach, blended together. The work is still in progress, but it is clearly an image of a tree with a strong aura, reaching out beyond the light above and the dark below. The woman is most likely an earth-goddess, awake and watching beneath the tree.

There are other possibilities and I will create a series, each with a slightly different image. It’s always surprising and sheer joy to find such wonderful art already existing in nature. It just needed a few highlights to bring it out.

–Images and tutorial (c) 2008 All rights reserved by Quinn McDonald. Quinn is an artist and certified creativity coach who runs workshops in writing, presentation, journal writing and collage. See her work at QuinnCreative.com

The Oxygen Mask

She was struggling as the middle layer of the sandwich generation. Kids in college, still needing a safe haven; elderly mother in another state, not doing too well.

When the phone call came in the middle of the night, it was time to drive through the darkness into the heart of the struggle. Mother may die, that would be awful Mother may live, that would also be awful. Because mother can’t be alone, needs help, doesn’t want to accept help. The story’s pages are smoothed by thousands of worried hands who have written down the words of struggle: what do I do now? How can I take this on and have it end well?

Because I’ve made that middle-of-the-night drive myself, I suggested the one thing sandwich women forget: take care of yourself first. You can’t help anyone else if you aren’t functioning.

As most women, this is not easy to hear. We are used to taking care of everyone else first. As I asked how she could take care of herself, there was a pause. Then a slow, smiling voice came back, in the singsong of a flight attendant:
“In case of emergency, reach for your own oxygen mask first. Put on your mask before helping others around you. The bag may not inflate, but oxygen will flow through the mask. Tighten the straps and make sure you can breathe. Then help others.”

She knew what to do. She would be fine.

Image: firesomeonetoday.com

–Quinn McDonald is a writer and a certified creativity coach. She is also a transition coach, who helps people reinvent themselves to cope with new careers, situations, and people in their lives. See her work at QuinnCreative.com (c) 2008 All rights reserved.

Page from a Visual Journal

One of my favorite quotes is from Dogen, about enlightenment being like the moon reflected in water. The moon and sky can be reflected in a tiny drop of water and hold the whole reflection, without getting the moon wet and without disturbing the reflection.
If I were a calligrapher, I could write it out beautifully.
But I’m not a calligrapher, so I created several pages in my journal of how I see and feel the quote.
That’s the joy of a visual journal–you don’t have to be an illustrator. You simply let the quote move onto the page in its own way.

In the first one, the words are important, and the image adds movement, although it doesn’t illustrate what the words say.
In the next one, the quote is not used at all, only the words “enlightenment” and “satori” (Japanese for ‘englightenment’) are used. One is bold and graphic, the other is a reflection of enlightenment in it’s absence of form. It shows the power of the quote, without ever referring to it specifically.

A visual journal can let you explore your intellect and emotions without entangling either one.

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–Images: journal pages by Quinn McDonald. (c) 2008 All rights reserved. Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach and writer. She teaches workshops on journal writing. For more information, see her website, QuinnCreative.com

Gratitude Journal: New Age Hype or Useful Tool?

The first time someone suggested I keep a gratitude journal, I suggested they set their hair on fire. I was a little cranky at the time. I didn’t want to be grateful, I wanted to seethe and be angry. Once I got finished with anger, I wasn’t sure why I should be grateful. And that’s the point.

Being grateful and writing it down helps slow down all that gallopping emotion. In the mood I was in, my approach was a “revenge of the gratitude journal.” I wanted to prove that idiot who suggested the gratitude journal that they were wrong. Hah! So I wrote down, “I have nothing to be grateful for.” So there. I looked at it for awhile and felt a little dumb. Except for the thing I was angry about, which had taken over my life, I had a roof over my head, clean clothes to wear, a caring spouse, enough food to eat. I knew that other people didn’t have all of that. But hey, I was still angry.

So I wrote down, “My cup of coffee was not total crap this morning.” That seemed about right. The next day, I wrote down, “My annoying cube neighbor has the flu.” Then I added, “Traffic was OK. I got to the client on time.” I found that having a few small things to be grateful for seemed to reduce my anger. Only because all that anger was exhausting me.

Over time, I began to notice the quality of items I was grateful for changed, almost as if I could predict a bad mood, a new project coming my way, and when I was in problem-solving mode. I began to dare to notice that I was good at some things and write them in the gratitude journal. I could see the big picture and the details to get there. I was a good problem solver. Being grateful for what you are good at and noticing it makes you better at it.

A gratitude journal sharpens your skills. The first time I suggested it to one of my coaching clients, he tactfully suggested I set my hair on fire. (Well, no, he was quite polite. But I could feel the shock wave over the phone. This was no girly-man.) But he kept up the gratitude journal. I promise my clients anonimity, so I can’t quote his entries, but they started simple and got quite complex. It was working for him, too.

 Here’s what he wrote to me this morning:
“You can tell your tough-guy clients that when I got laid off, the journal had mentally prepared me to view it as a blessing and an opportunity rather than a death sentence.
It allowed me to think clearly and focus on what I really wanted to do. Kind of like boot camp mentally prepares a “green” soldier for his first combat mission.”

Thanks so much for letting me know. You and I discovered the same thing about gratitude–it’s not a new age emotion, it’s a business tool. Particularly if you own your own business.

—Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach and a life coach who specializes in guiding people through transitions. She holds workshops on writing, corporate culture, and giving presentations. See her work at QuinnCreative.com
encounter, so does the grateful journal keep the newly laid off working professional
from panicking in the face of financial danger.

10 Questions to Ask Your Coach

You’ve decided to work with a coach for the usual reasons: you aren’t getting enough done, you spend a lot of time worrying, you are repeating all the same patterns, you are unhappy with your life, you aren’t getting promoted, there is trouble on your team, you aren’t managing your life, your boss or your colleagues well, you don’t know what to do next.

You’ve found some names, now how to decide? Asking questions is good. What to ask? Here are some ideas to build on:

Q. “Do you coach on the phone, in person, or via email?”
A. In person gives you face to face contact, but it also means you need to drive, park, walk there and back. You may have to use time looking for a parking space or pay to park.

Phone coaching can fit into parts of your day that work best for you–early morning, lunch, evening when you have some time. If your coach does phone coaching, ask if they were trained that way. It takes a special skill.

Email coaching is tricky. You might feel emotional when you write, then be in a completely different mood when the answer comes back. When a coach asks a question, you may write back what the coach wants to hear, rather than what you feel. Email coaching is the least reliable. Email is great for coaching homework or reporting in, but not for the heart of coaching.

Q: “Where did you train?”
A: Some people have been coaching for a long time and never went to a course. But a recognized coaching course gives you some reassurance that there were principles learned, practiced and tested. Therapists often become coaches, although coaches are not therapists, unless they have studies and been licensed to be a therapist. In general, therapists look backward for the origin of problems, and coaches look forward to goals.

Q: “How long have you been coaching regularly?”
A: It’s good to know if someone has just started. That doesn’t mean they aren’t gifted, but experience is an excellent skill-builder. And coaching regularly is the key. A coach who has taken a three-year sabbatical may not be at the top of the skill.

Q: “How many times a month do we talk and for how long?”
A: This varies widely and you need to be comfortable with the commitment. Some coaching sessions run for half an hour, some for an hour. Some coaching sessions are 4 times a month, some three, some at random intervals. Choose a coach whose working sessions make sense to you. Ask why they chose their session length and frequency. The answer should have the voice of experience.

Q: “How much do you charge?”
A: A coach who hedges on the answer, or gives an unclear answer is one you should avoid. Prices should be clear, easy to understand and explain. I favor coaches who put their price on their website. No reason to hide it, fees are either affordable for your client, or not. The client determines the value. If my grocery store didn’t post their prices in the paper, or I had to search for airline prices, I wouldn’t use them.

Q: “How long will it take?”
A: No coach can tell you how long it will take to make a change in your life. It depends on how hard you work, and what you want to achieve. Change takes time. Once you have achieved a goal, you might very well want to move on to another goal with the same coach. Some people find that a good coach is a necessity and stay for years, other clients go for a quick fix and stay for a few months, a few clients just check in once a month or so after coaching ends.

Q: “Do you give homework?”:
A: Coaches frequently ask powerful questions at the end of a session. Other times, you may agree with the coach to complete a task, start a project, write down some notes. Coaching is most effective between sessions, when your mind returns to the session and builds on it. Having a focal point to build on is a big advantage.

Q: Do you give sample sessions?
A: Coaching is personal and experiential. It’s hard to describe it using only words, just like it is hard to explain an ice cream flavor. Once you taste it, you understand how the ice cream tastes to you. Many coaches give a sample session to let you see their style, approach and tone. Not every coach will work for you, and no coach should discourage you from trying more than one before making a decision.

Q: Will you get my book published/ find me a soul mate/ get my family off my back?
A: No. Sorry, you have to do the work. A coach supports you, shows you different perspectives, discusses consequences, shows you options, asks what you need to complete a task, helps you see the steps in a task, supports you, encourages you, demands the best from you, makes you accountable, and asks questions, helps you think about resources, maybe even shares resources. But no advice. A life- or creativity coach that gives hard advice and instructions consistently isn’t helping you. If you are not coming up with your own ideas, you won’t be dedicated to them. If you don’t choose your own path, you will blame the coach. Part of coaching is learning to take responsibility for your life.

Q: “May I call or email you?”
A: Most coaches believe that you are creative, resourceful and whole when you begin coaching. If you need a therapist, that’s a different kind of help. Many coaches offer email exchanges for homework or brief check-ins. How often you call without getting charged is up to the coach and you to set. Boundaries are important to keep the relationship in balance. If you and your coach become close friends, the coach may have a hard time keeping your goal in perspective. Most coaches don’t mind a quick phone call or email during office hours. Be careful about making demands on how fast you expect an answer, and the hours a coach is available. Coaches need their downtime, too.

–Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach and a life coach who helps with transitions in business, career, and family matters. She can be reached at QuinnCreative.com

What Does Coaching Do For Me?

Life coaching, creativity coacing, transition coaching helps you discover how you show up in the world. If you want, it helps you decide if that is the way you want to continue showing up in the world. Beyond that, if you want to change how you show up in the world, a coach will help you explore change, create some steps, follow the steps, and move ahead.

Coaching is about you, the client. Your coach won’t give you advice, tell you what to do, focus on your past, or let you make up excuses. Coaching works in the middle of turmoil, anger, fear, losing your job, getting a divorce, and a 20-page to-do list, none of which is done.

Coaching also works when you are eager, happy, creative, present, and productive. It helps you identify how you got to the point you are and if you want to continue, and how to continue making good choices.

Each coach has techniques that work for clients. I ask questions. For my clients to figure out their motives, their reasons for making choices, they have to think about what they value, what they want, and where they want to go. All that involves questions.

What’s interesting about questions, is that the answers change from day to day. I’ll as a client, “What pushes your buttons?” and she might immediately reply, “Friends who don’t respect me.”  Because I don’t know what that means for her, I’ll ask, “What does respect mean to you?” And here is the interesting part. She might blurt out, “Not treating me as if I’m stupid.” We’ll talk some more and at the end of the hour, I’ll as her to write down what respect means every day for a  week. When we talk about it the next week, she will have quite a list.

–Respect me by listening to me when I’m talking
–Respect me by considering my ideas and not making me do yours all the time
–Respect me by being on time
–Respect me by asking me what I want to be called, not assuming you can use my first name just because I wrote it on a piece of paper you have
–Respect me by not telling me how to run my life

Those are all very different answers, but they all define respect for this client. It gives me information about her values, and it helps her see what is important and perhaps, what is missing in her life.

From there we can move on to how to show respect, how to ask for respect and how to act in ways that encourage respect. Those are positive steps that start with questions.

Coaching is valuable if the road of life is rocky; coaching provides a guide. And when the road is smooth and easy, it provides a companion to help you notice what is working to keep the road smooth.

–Quinn McDonald is a life and transition coach who helps people re-invent themselves. She is also a certified creativity coach. See her work at QuinnCreative.com  (c) 2008 All rights reserved.