The Dream and the Dreamer

For years I’ve been interested in dreams. I’ve had recurring dreams, meaningful dreams that I still remember vividly, and dreams that have come true much as I dreamed them. I once dreamed a portion of someone else’s lif and had them verify it.

What’s bothered me about dreams is that they seem personal and meaningful, but dream interpretation seems to be a impersonal, reduced to symbol searches. Many books list the items in dreams and assign them a meaning. You dream of flying, it’s a sign someone is going to die. In another book, flying is sex. (In that book, everything is sex. It doesn’t need to be 300 pages long, one would have been plenty.) [Editor's note: WordPress automatically assigns links to posts based on keywords. Please be careful before clicking on the automatically generated links below this post.]

Another school of thought says that you are everyone in your dream. I’m not sure that works for me, either. Many of the people in my dream are known to me and many unknown that represent an idea or warning for me, but they aren’t me.

I think dreams are far more meaningful, and I don’t believe they are random images your brain fans out because you’ve eaten pepperoni pizza late at night. I believe dreams are a connection to the collective unconscious–the past of your cultural ancestors. I think dreams are a map of our lives, a colorful tapestry of adventures, a guide to the path we have chosen, an illuminated manuscript of both our imagination and our possibilities.

Currently, I’m enrolled in a seminar on dreaming, run by Robert Moss, the originator of active dreaming. Moss believes we can re-enter dreams, either in meditation or in subsequent dreams.

I’m keeping track of all this dreaming for both my dream journaling course and for some workshops on how to wake up to dreams, making them a useful part of your daydreams and waking life.

May 9 update: I had a dream in which I saw a woman who was a potential client in a crowd. She was very blond, almost glowing. The rest of the crowd was very dun-colored, as if a gray wash had been put over the whole scene. She began to bekon to me, but I couldn’t get to her, the crowd was too thick and not moving. [end of dream]  I woke up and had this strong urge to email this person. So I did. Two days later she called me and said she had had a job come in, and hadn’t thought of me until she saw my email. I accepted the freelance job. I’m calling this a Quinncidence.

–Image: Dreamer, color pencil, aquarelle pencils on 100-lb. Bristol Board, Quinn McDonald (c) 2008 All rights reserved. This post is also under copyright by Quinn McDonald, who is a workshop developer and leader as well as a certified creativity coach. See her website at QuinnCreative.com

Tutorial: Altered Photograph

An artist sees nature in a new perspective every day. In a different slant of light, with different shadows, with different meaning.

On my early morning walks, I noticed that the tiny water-saving sprinklers are hard at work before the sun evaporates the water. When a breeze kicks up, the spray hits the sidewalk. The water here is hard, so the place where it hits the sidewalk deepens to blue-gray. The edge of the stain is often a red or pink color, depending on the material the sidewalk is made of.

The patterns are quite ordinary, except when they are in the process of drying. At that point amazing things happen to them. They dry from the outside in, leaving Rorschach-like patterns. I photographed one of the drying puddles with my iPhone camera, which produces remarkably good close-ups. I printed it out and took a closer look. I printed the picture on non-photographic paper, 100 percent consumer-waste recycled, slightly heavier than normal. I chose this paper because I wanted to use Prismacolor light-fast pencils as the art medium, and they work best on an uncoated stock.

I saw a tree, clearly at the top. I was surprised to see the Lady-of-Guadalupe-like pattern around the figure, giving it a spiritual feel. Using Prismacolor pencils, I began to pick out the design. First I darkened the edges using French Gray 70 percent, then overlapping strokes of Indigo Blue and Dark Grape.

Next, I used French Gray 30 percent and 10 percent, along with Sky Blue to give more contrast between the light lines and dark lines. I started with a light touch and used a bit more pressure once the picked-out lines made sense and created a pattern.

There were several possible figures that could have emerged from the center, under the tree. To begin, I called up the face I saw, using Cream and Light Peach, blended together. The work is still in progress, but it is clearly an image of a tree with a strong aura, reaching out beyond the light above and the dark below. The woman is most likely an earth-goddess, awake and watching beneath the tree.

There are other possibilities and I will create a series, each with a slightly different image. It’s always surprising and sheer joy to find such wonderful art already existing in nature. It just needed a few highlights to bring it out.

–Images and tutorial (c) 2008 All rights reserved by Quinn McDonald. Quinn is an artist and certified creativity coach who runs workshops in writing, presentation, journal writing and collage. See her work at QuinnCreative.com

Page from a Visual Journal

One of my favorite quotes is from Dogen, about enlightenment being like the moon reflected in water. The moon and sky can be reflected in a tiny drop of water and hold the whole reflection, without getting the moon wet and without disturbing the reflection.
If I were a calligrapher, I could write it out beautifully.
But I’m not a calligrapher, so I created several pages in my journal of how I see and feel the quote.
That’s the joy of a visual journal–you don’t have to be an illustrator. You simply let the quote move onto the page in its own way.

In the first one, the words are important, and the image adds movement, although it doesn’t illustrate what the words say.
In the next one, the quote is not used at all, only the words “enlightenment” and “satori” (Japanese for ‘englightenment’) are used. One is bold and graphic, the other is a reflection of enlightenment in it’s absence of form. It shows the power of the quote, without ever referring to it specifically.

A visual journal can let you explore your intellect and emotions without entangling either one.

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–Images: journal pages by Quinn McDonald. (c) 2008 All rights reserved. Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach and writer. She teaches workshops on journal writing. For more information, see her website, QuinnCreative.com

Gratitude Journal: New Age Hype or Useful Tool?

The first time someone suggested I keep a gratitude journal, I suggested they set their hair on fire. I was a little cranky at the time. I didn’t want to be grateful, I wanted to seethe and be angry. Once I got finished with anger, I wasn’t sure why I should be grateful. And that’s the point.

Being grateful and writing it down helps slow down all that gallopping emotion. In the mood I was in, my approach was a “revenge of the gratitude journal.” I wanted to prove that idiot who suggested the gratitude journal that they were wrong. Hah! So I wrote down, “I have nothing to be grateful for.” So there. I looked at it for awhile and felt a little dumb. Except for the thing I was angry about, which had taken over my life, I had a roof over my head, clean clothes to wear, a caring spouse, enough food to eat. I knew that other people didn’t have all of that. But hey, I was still angry.

So I wrote down, “My cup of coffee was not total crap this morning.” That seemed about right. The next day, I wrote down, “My annoying cube neighbor has the flu.” Then I added, “Traffic was OK. I got to the client on time.” I found that having a few small things to be grateful for seemed to reduce my anger. Only because all that anger was exhausting me.

Over time, I began to notice the quality of items I was grateful for changed, almost as if I could predict a bad mood, a new project coming my way, and when I was in problem-solving mode. I began to dare to notice that I was good at some things and write them in the gratitude journal. I could see the big picture and the details to get there. I was a good problem solver. Being grateful for what you are good at and noticing it makes you better at it.

A gratitude journal sharpens your skills. The first time I suggested it to one of my coaching clients, he tactfully suggested I set my hair on fire. (Well, no, he was quite polite. But I could feel the shock wave over the phone. This was no girly-man.) But he kept up the gratitude journal. I promise my clients anonimity, so I can’t quote his entries, but they started simple and got quite complex. It was working for him, too.

 Here’s what he wrote to me this morning:
“You can tell your tough-guy clients that when I got laid off, the journal had mentally prepared me to view it as a blessing and an opportunity rather than a death sentence.
It allowed me to think clearly and focus on what I really wanted to do. Kind of like boot camp mentally prepares a “green” soldier for his first combat mission.”

Thanks so much for letting me know. You and I discovered the same thing about gratitude–it’s not a new age emotion, it’s a business tool. Particularly if you own your own business.

—Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach and a life coach who specializes in guiding people through transitions. She holds workshops on writing, corporate culture, and giving presentations. See her work at QuinnCreative.com
encounter, so does the grateful journal keep the newly laid off working professional
from panicking in the face of financial danger.

Making Art That Heals

I’ve made art to make money and I’ve made art to make meaning. I’ve made art to have fun. Most people make art under “normal” circumstances like that. But lately, I’ve run into people who are making art for many different reasons. They are making art:–for pleasure, to express a special event
–to get them through a crisis, either emotional or physical
–to get through another creative block, like a writing block
–in deep grief, seeking relief from mental and physical pain and suffering
–in confusion, to find a path to begin a new path on the Journey

When these art-makers are my coaching clients, I try to help them dig deeply and find old memories, put to new use. We find out what makes them want to change, how they will change, where the new path is taking them. Sometimes all they can do is write down memories and leave it at that. Sometimes, in writing, they start to see a new path, and it looks safe to try out for a walk.

The answers lead in many different directions, but the one that interests me the most is the immediate art. The desire is always there to make “something important,” or “something meaningful.” But the healing path is often just a way to make “something.” Anything. Working on a piece of paper, whether it is writing or drawing, origami or writing music is healing.

Pouring emotions on paper lets you both capture the emotion and release it. Grab a strong emotion and wrestle it down on paper. Your feelings will pour out, you will release them and they will allow you to heal.

If you are fearful or worried about those emotions, scared to name them or face them, pick a time to work when you are tired. Exactly the time you normally wouldn’t do creative work. Begin. The rest will take care of itself.

–Image: J. Sandquist, Art Heals

–Quinn McDonald is a life and creativity coach. See her work at QuinnCreative.com (c) 2008 All rights reserved.

Journals: Write to Forget, Write to Remember

Most journal keepers write entries to remember events or people. You had a wonderful evening. You write it down so you’ll never forget. And when you need to know, it’s there. You keep track of books and movies you love, make lists of MP3s you want to buy, and the list is there to work with when you need it.

There is another side to journal-keeping: Writing to Forget

Journal-keeping is wonderfully healing. You write down your anger, and your anger stays on the page. You write down the detailed background of how you got hurt, and the hurt is eased. Journal writing helps you forget, move on, forgive, ease up. On others, on yourself.

How can writing help you both remember and forget? Writing is a creative activity, and the act of forming words carefully, with a pen, creates a reaction between your brain and hand that lets you think through the emotional impact and deal with it. I’m not sure it works the same way on a keyboard, it may.

Writing helps you forget, because you can vent on the page, have an emotional reaction, examine your (and the other person’s) motives, and move on. You decide what to take with you as you move on.

When you write down to remember, something similar happens. (List making is different, it records items.) You vent in a different manner, and take a different set of memories with you.

Journal prompt: What can you let go of that you no longer need to remember?
–(c) Quinn McDonald, 2008. All rights reserved. Image: Japanese Netsuke, ca. 1890.

Layering Colors

It was my first night in colored pencil class. This sounds a bit like coloring class for grown-ups. The lesson was drawing an apple. As I looked at the apple in front of me, I noticed it was irregular and had an interesting stem–and that made for a great outline drawing.

The lesson was to apply color from light to dark, so the first step was to cover the inside of the drawing with a nicely applied layer of cream. You dont’ want a lot of white spots on the paper. A layer of a light color modifies the image nicely.

As I applied layer after layer, it occurred to me how complicated the outside of an apple is. And how easy it is to make the apple look three -dimensional with the addition of a darker color. And how the highlight, where the ceiling light shines off the peel, is not really white, but reflective.

While I sat an applied color, I learned that a wash of yellow over the curve in the front brightens the entire image. That using the opposite of the red color of the apple–green–makes the shadows look deeper. That another layer of color can change the color entirely.

And I smiled because this sounded more like a life lesson than an art lesson. That steadily applying a cheerful face to life makes you more cheerful. That knowing the opposites in life–happiness and sorrow, failure and success, patience and impetuousness–adds richness to the texture of life. And that adding another perspective can change your outlook. Not only that, but that a lot of work and a willingness to keep layering color makes for a better depth of experience.

When I was done, I had used 15 colors on the apple. It had taken two hours. And I know that if I show it to someone, they’ll shrug and say, “Well, what will you DO with that? Can you sell it?” And I’ll smile and say, “It’s art,” and think, “Just like life.”

–Quinn McDonald is a writer and certified creativity coach. See her work at QuinnCreative.com  Apple drawing by Quinn McDonald. (c) 2008 All rights reservd.

Why Keep a Visual Journal?

I’ve kept a written journal for years. I’ve done morning pages, evening pages, no pages. So why start a visual journal? Because a visual journal helps you keep memories more clearly than just a written journal. And you don’t need to be a visual artist, either.

My journal entries often take up a lot of space describing something well enough so I can remember it. In other words, I write a lot to create a picture in my head. So I thought I’d try going directly to the source, and draw the thing I want to remember. This helps me be more observant. About color. About shadows. About shape. About what was really important–was it a linked memory, an emotion, a new idea?

Since it’s my journal, and I don’t intend on exhibiting it or turning it into a movie, how well my drawing resemble the object I’m trying to draw it not as important as capturing a memory.

Sometimes I give myself a time limit. It helps to see what I need to see and not spend a lot of time on too many details. I’m trying to catch an idea, not a plot line.

A visual journal helps you be more aware.
A visual journal allows you to see colors more vividly.
Texture comes alive in a journal, and you can use words to compare what you see now to something else. The radish leaves are slightly fuzzy and gritty with sand. I’d never given it much thought.

Your images help you accept your level of art ability, particularly if you give yourself deadlines to prevent overworking an image. In this case, I also tested some of the reds on the same page, so I could layer some colors and get the radish right. Next time, I’ll write the color underneath, so I can use the journal to test color swatches. Another use–getting colors right.

I was flipping through my journal the other day, and as this page passed, I immediately could taste the radish sandwich I love in spring–crisp red radishes sliced thin and placed on smooth unsalted butter on nine-grain bread. I could taste it again.
Pictures are a shorthand to an experience, and you can make the most of it with a visual journal.

Next: It doesn’t have to be pictures, words can be visual, too.
–Quinn McDonald is a writer and certified creativity coach. She keeps journals for many reasons.
Image by Quinn. (c) 2008 All right reserved.

Choosing a Wabi Sabi Life

The moon lay on her back in the sky, her thin ivory rim tipped up. Cupped gently in her hollow was the indigo sky, dotted with stars. Two straight lines stitched past the horns of the moon. They were contrails, side-lit by the bright, reflected light. Next to the contrails is the constellation Orion. I always look for it when I walk at night. Often I can just see the belt. Tonight I could see the entire constellation: the powerful Hunter standing next to the river Eridanus with his two hunting dogs, Canis Major and Canis Minor, fighting Taurus, the bull.

I was walking at night. The sidewalks were deserted. In the distance, I could hear a train whistle calling as it crossed the street grade and raced into the blank and mountainous desert. Who is on the train? Where are they going at night, where will they wake up?

In the next block the intense smell of orange blossom washed over the block walls that provide privacy. I could just see the blossoms on an orange tree. I know the smell from perfumes, but no perfume has such a rich, deep green smell that carries the hope of next summer’s glowing ember oranges. I touched one of the polished, shiny dark leaves. I pulled one of the blossom branches to me, and, making careful that there were no bees in the bunch, touched the flowers to my tongue. The neroli oil washed over my tongue in a sweet and bitter wave. It is as if I had bitten into a perfumed orange. The branch sprang away from me.

The houses have their curtains drawn. I could hear faint sounds from the TVs. Someone was watching explosions and laughing. In the next house someone was not making it on American Idol. I kept walking through the shining night air. This was my gift alone.

I have chosen this life–right now it is lonely and hard. But walking through the night with all five senses is a feast I find indescribably life affirming. I feel alive and aware. I am in one moment at a time. It is an enormous gift to see all this, to taste it, touch it, to hear the sounds of the desert at night. I am grateful. The people who are in front of the TV will never know this, but they are satisfied, too. They don’t want to be walking outside in the dark. I’m glad for their comfort and glad for my own experience.

And in that second of peace, I know the heart of wabi-sabi.

Images: Orion: space.about.com  Moon: www.andrill.org

–Quinn McDonald is a writer and certified creativity coach. See her work at QuinnCreative.com

The “Essential Employee”

I’ve had countless people here ask me, “You moved from Washington, DC to HERE? WHHHYYYY?”
As if DC with it’s “national news as local news” is a place to aspire to. I lived in that area for 15 years. I loved the waterways and the Springs of new green and the crisp falls of saturated colors. I loved the free museums and the sense of humor of artists and writers who could love the area and make fun of it at the same time.

And with the same intensity, I disliked the stifling humidity that made the winters bitter cold and the summers feel as if you were living in a dog’s mouth. I cringed at the assumption of privilege of a certain segment of people, the dismissive question they asked when they met you, “What do you do?” so they could put you in a category of worth to them–someone they could use in someway, or someone they could ignore.

DC is many things, and the first thing I noticed when I moved is that the women there dress in dowdy-sparrow clothing–colors of the streets and winter foliage. I never thought of Phoenix as a center of style, but the women here dress with style and knowledge. You see color, you see experimentation, so see a comfort of being in your own skin.

So when people here ask me why I moved, sometimes I tell this story:
“In DC, there are classification of government workers, and many private companies have adopted the same pattern.
Workers in some jobs are called “essential workers.”
When it snows, DC has snow alerts–to keep people off the roads until they can get them plowed. DC has a lot of on-street parking, and they want those parking places free so the plows can get the snow out of the way. They announce that there is “Blue leave” which means flex time–you can come in late, but have to make it up in the same pay period.
(DC does love assigning colors to its alerts. Six weeks ago, I knew the terror alert every day. Now I don’t. Don’t miss it.)

Then they will add, “Essential employees must report for work.”
People who are in lower-level jobs, will race outside, jump in their SUVs and drive to the nearest Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts–because they want their neighbors to think they are “essential employees” and have to brave the snow. As soon as they are out of their neighborhood, they have no place to go, so they cruise to a Starbucks and kill some time.

And that is why I moved here–I don’t want to kill time, I want to live it.”

–Image: DC–www.hometownusa.com; Phoenix–www.geology.com

–Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach, writer, and a developer of programs that helps people communicate with each other. See her work at QuinnCreative.com (c) 2008 All rights reserved.