Privacy, Designed

Most of my journals are experimental, so I write notes in them, experiment in them, and don’t worry too much about having beautiful show-piece journals. But because my life is really just one push of toothpaste out of the tube, I also write my thoughts, fears and hopes into my journals.

Once, I was more careful to keep things separate, but I have become stubborn in my refusal to create “show journals” that don’t reflect my life. It’s one of the reasons working on loose leaf pages is appealing. That way I can gather what I want to show to a class.

Side view of journal with tied pages.

The journal that’s going to Valley Ridge with me this weekend is one that contains some personal observations that I don’t care to share with anyone. They might include my own inner critic’s rant, or a comment I found hurtful but recorded, along with the source–things that don’t benefit from sharing.

Still, the journal has a lot of pages that demo a technique, so it’s coming along. How to keep private thoughts private?

One hole is enough, no need to turn the journal into a sneaker-lacing project.

I punched a hole in the contiguous pages that contained the information, then tied them shut with waxed linen. Elegant in its own right, not glaring enough to call attention to what it might contain, this method is better than ripping pages out or pasting other paper over it.

Close up of tied pages.

When I return home, I can take out the waxed linen, and the pages, still  punched, will be neatly marked for the next time they need privacy.

–Quinn McDonald is a creativity coach, who teaches art journaling with a lot of creativity coaching mixed in.

What do I do with my journal?

Are you afraid that someone will find out your journal secrets? That when you die your life will be there for all to see? If this is keeping you from writing in a journal, could you reconsider? There are steps you can take to protect your privacy, and some things to think about before you cut off your connection to the past.

If you feel strongly that your privacy not be invaded, you can rent a safe deposit box at a bank. Put your completed journals in this safe deposit box and give the key to a trusted friend.

Julia Cameron, the author of “The Artist’s Way,” and the proponent of writing three pages of whatever you are thinking every single morning was asked at a book signing if she keeps her journals. She said she did, they fill a storage locker. She has an agreement with her daughter, her executor, that she be cremated. “But first, burn the books. Then burn me!” Cameron said.

Before you choose to keep your life such a secret, let me encourage you to let go. Once you are dead your past is not going to haunt you. And it might help others. My mother’s life was a mystery to me. I was born late in her life and only knew her as angry and manipulative. Sure, she had bright moments, but they were short and quickly dispensed with.

After her death, I found a packet of love letters she and my father had exchanged. So strong was her hold over me, even from the grave, that I seriously considered destroying the letters, unopened. When I read through them, another woman emerged. One I had never known. A young woman, the woman who was the mother to my brothers. She seemed eager to live her life. I never found out what had shut her down, although she had many reasons.

Without those letters, I would have never had a chance to see this other person. This person with hope and humor. This woman who suddenly had more in common with me than I ever believed. It was a generous gift to discover.  I’m sure she would have hated my prying into her past, but now that I know, it is also easier for me to be easier on her.

Before you lock up your past, think about the help you might be. That event you are ashamed of might help someone else, might change their mind, might leave a word of encouragement. Once you are gone, your life in this world is complete. Leave some clues for the next generation. You might create a picture of yourselves for people who are not even born. Give them a view into your life, and into the status of life in a time period they never knew.

–Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach who teaches journal writing. See her work at QuinnCreative.com You can also read about Raw Art Journaling for journal writers who can’t draw.