Success: New Definitions Come to Mind

You remember pre-economic crash success. Winning. Competing. Coming out on top no matter what. Giving “110″ percent. Beating out the other person. Cheating if you had to. But winning. Maybe for a trip, a raise, or an ungodly huge bonus. That was success. If you had it, you could preen in front of colleagues or neighbors. If you didn’t, you slunk away. Ah, success was simple and sweet.

And now it’s gone. Of course there are still weasels out there who are making a fast buck on other people’s miseries. I’m sure they existed in cave times. There’s probably a picture of Ur-Weasel in the caves at Lascaux, with shifty eyes and a cheap suit.

Image: lostinyourinbox.blog-city.com

Success looks and sounds and tastes different in this threadbare new world. You might not have a job anymore, and you still want dignity. You might have gotten fired, laid off, RIF’d, or dumped. And you want your pride back. You feel exposed and wounded. Maybe betrayed. Success vanished.

Success, in fact, never left. We just changed the definition. In the 1990s, we gave away the controls on success, and it ran off the road. We’re still cleaning up the mess.

When success was up to you, you could work hard and get it. Those were the days you defined success. Here are some ways people define success in non-traditional ways: Being honest. Harder, still, being ethical. Not just following what the law says, but being moral without a rule, without a camera watching you, without someone checking up on you. Because being ethical is part of you. Because without it, you don’t feel successful. That kind of success doesn’t add up to a fat bonus. Or a job that lets you buy anything you want.

When success was up to you, you listened to people. Talked to them not in terms of “I want what I want when I want it,” but with concern for everyone. The result, goal, or objective was never worth throwing a colleague under the bus, it was not about you. Yes, that’s right, it was not about you. It was about others’ needs, too.

Something to think about. We got here on a wave of success. On a wave of wealth and competition and greed. It’s time for a new definition for success. One we can live with.

–Quinn McDonald is a writer, life- and creativity coach. She teaches communication skills, including writing and giving presentations as well as how to make and use an art journal, even if you can’t draw.

Money-Saving Tips in the Newspaper

In the last two weeks, both the New York Times and Arizona Republic have carried stories that make me squinch my eyes and cringe. Both articles are tips for dealing wit the economy.

The Arizona Republic ran an article on how to save money during these tough times. OK. So far, so good. But the suggestions were laughable for all but the amazingly wealthy. Arizona, at the moment, is the 5th poorest state in the union.  Here are some of the suggestions—cut your housecleaning crew down to once every other week. Have your gardener come just once a month. Go out to lunch instead of the evening meal. Consider buying your own nail polish, as it saves a bit on those regular manicures and pedicures.

Let Them Eat Cake

I’m baffled by this. If you can afford a housecleaner, gardener, eating out at all and regular manicures and pedicures, you don’t have a worry in the world.

Let’s get down to the reality portion of this economy: drug and rehab budgets are being cut, so is health care for children, food prices are not coming down, and gas prices are inching up again. Once a month in our town, we have big trash pickup. People haul those bulky items that don’t fit in the standard trash can to the curb, and a special truck and frontloader scoop them away. For the last two months, I’ve watched pickup trucks cruising through neighborhoods scavenging those piles of trash.

By the time the frontloader shows up, the piles are reduced to yard trimmings. Even those are picked over for left-over citrus fruit. Anything metal or repairable has been loaded into trucks. I don’t think these people are worried about their housecleaning schedule.

This past Sunday, the New York Times ran an article on how the economy provides a handy excuse for laying off that pesky maid who dared to ask for New Year’s Eve off. Or to blow off your bourgeois in-laws’ invitation to Disney World, presumably because you can’t afford it, when in reality you prefer Europe to Florida. The article was written in a surprisingly shallow “let them eat cake” tone.

Where is the editor who should have spiked this story? Where is the managing editor, who, having seen a story written in a similar tone the week before, should be ashamed he let that one get in instead of adding  another one to the pile?

This economy is dividing us into the have and have-nots. There is no middle class. There are the working poor and the incredibly rich. The New York Times, a respectable newspaper of honored heritage is behaving in a way that shows a shocking disregard for the people who are trying to live normal lives and navigate their way through a recession without maids or pedicures. The rich will muddle through, let’s see some help for the rest of us.

Image from: http://wendyusuallywanders.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/

—Quinn McDonald is a writer, life- and creativity coach who runs training programs on communicating with others.