Phone Messages: If you don’t leave one, I won’t call

Maybe it’s the latest trend, or maybe I’m slow on the uptake, but after all the trouble IT put into inventing voice mail, why aren’t people using it? Am I really expected to check my recent-calls list and return all those calls?

Precisely. My friends tell me, “I didn’t leave a message, didn’t you see my name on your list?” It’s a way of checking to see if I have their name on my ‘favorites’ list, which then shows their name and picture on my phone. Except I didn’t turn that on, so all people who don’t leave a message just show up as phone numbers.

If you don’t have time to leave a message, it must not have been important. If you want me to recognize your phone number, you have to get another dream. Web 2.0 was not meant to invent ways to guilt-trip me, manipulate me, or intimidate me. And if it was, it’s not working. My phone is my business tool. I like talking to my friends. But not if they are trying to find out how much I like them.

–Quinn McDonald is a certified creativity coach who helps people build reasonable boundaries in their lives. See her work at

One thought on “Phone Messages: If you don’t leave one, I won’t call

  1. Wow, you’ve expressed the exact same sentiments I voiced yesterday to someone who said to me “I called a few times last week.” I say, “I didn’t hear any messages.” So this person says, “But the number must have been displayed.” I was mad as hell, “Are you insinuating that I saw your number displayed when it rang and deliberately didn’t answer the phone, or do you expect me to go through the caller list every time I return home to check how many calls I missed”… Are you sending me on some guilt trip? People… !!! Thanks for the post. 🙂

    —-It’s the idea that I look at the list of recent calls for phone numbers and call back those I recognize. In my case, that’s zero, as like most people, I have my phone numbers attached to names in the cell phone and don’t know phone numbers anymore. -Q

Join the conversation

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.