The Hard Work of Coaching

There are a lot of coaches around–ones that will translate what your angels say, ones that delve into your soul and promise soul-satisfaction. There are happiness coaches, relationship coaches, career coaches. All of them want you to be happy and satisfied. To find your purpose in life.

Desert hiking path

Often when I ask what a client wants out of life, the answer is, “I don’t know.” If you don’t know, I can’t provide it. I don’t give advice. I don’t do the work. I firmly believe that you are not broken, don’t need to be fixed, and are creative, resourceful and whole. When you come to me you will do hard work,  every day. That’s why I’m a life coach–not a career coach or a happiness coach. For me, life is made up of many sections–career and relationship among them. If you are unhappy at work, your relationship is suffering, too. Your life is not six compartments, but one. And you are the same person in all of them.

For me, happy is not a goal, it is a way. Satisfied comes from being not satisfied and choosing to change. We make choices, live with the result. We have to choose “happy” over everything else every day, and that isn’t easy. It may mean having hard conversations, explaining why you can’t do what someone else wants right now, (leading to short term unhappiness.) It may mean giving up immediate pleasure for longer satisfaction (turning down a high-paying job you don’t like for a lower-paying job that will bring a lot of satisfaction, but will need explaining to your family.)

Change is hard work. It doesn’t come from your angels. It doesn’t come from your coach. It comes from you deciding to change and doing the work. As a coach, I support and encourage that change, help you decide on steps to create that change in your life, hold you accountable when you weasel out of it, and celebrate with you when you succeed.

I wish I were a mythic shaman, who could cast spells, drive out sadness, wave a magic stick. I’m not. I’m more of a hiker, sweating up the hills and enjoying the sky, then walking some more. I listen, I console, I help form plans that create change. And then you do the work of change. I encourage you when you are sad, laugh with you when you are happy, and watch you gain satisfaction and happiness from the work of change. It’s that simple and that hard. You life will not change in 10 minutes or in one conversation. It takes time. Which is all we have. If you are trying to find your purpose in life, time is the path you will hike.

–Quinn McDonald is a life- and certified creativity coach. She has room for two more clients who are willing to do the work for happiness and satisfaction. You can contact her at RawArtJournals [at] gmail [dot] com. If you don’t know what that means, leave a comment with a way to contact you.